As the curtain rises, we see mother, sons, and diaphanous ghostly daughters. Father is absent from the beginning, and it is precisely this absence which is the focal point of the drama. Father is the brooding accusing presence hidden off stage, perhaps the author of the play. The accusation is one of murder and the usurpation of the missing Father's power. The missing Father charges a conspiracy between Mother and the sons. The sons, reeking of guilt, mill about Mother, as she accuses the missing Father of a "wicked crime" and "shameful acts." The Mother tells the brothers that but for their common act against the Father, they would never have seen the light of day. With these words the curtain falls on the prologue of the play.

Father represents the ideal, He who has been mutilated, and He who, at the end of time, will be whole again. Father is the one missing from the corporate body, He whose judgement lies just beyond the horizon. It is Mother who is that horizon, within which the play unfolds.

As I sat reading Thomas Pynchon's latest novel, Against The Day this morning it occurred to me that I was experiencing two different worlds simultaneously. There was that world that I perceived through my bodily senses and there was a world I imagined through reading. Where do the images emanate from, and, where are they located? The characters and the drama, both those that emerge from my reading, and those that emerge from my sensing, are not produced simply at the interface of two conceptual codes. Conceptual codes are structural mechanisms that constrain imagination.

Four dimensional conceptual coding structures images into a family: Mother,Father, Son, Daughter. We can reduce the drama no further than these four players. The stucture of the play demands a difference in gender and a difference in generations. The structure of the play lies in relationships between these four players. The relationship in every situation is ambivalent; the structure is a tesegrity structure. The human story is the story of imagination in conflict. The conceptual coding is the source of the conflict, not the images.

The beneficence of imagination lies in its contrast to perception. The healing affects of imagination are due to the fact that the imagined world is not real. Imagination is not located within the four dimensions of reality. A four-dimensional perceiver cannot perceive imagination, in the way that it perceives conceptuality. A purely conceptual observer would observe no drama in this world of ours, just systems forming and deforming, ordered motion and chaotic motion. Reality is a conceptual construct. To realize imagination is to confine it to a four-dimensional conceptual construct.

Conceptuality and imagination are combined in human experience. But imagination is not an effect of conceptuality. The effect of conceptuality is the confinement of imagination. Imagination is confined within the conceptual/imaginal stucture of the Human Drama. Imagination exists with or without the structure.

It is a cold windy grey afternoon on Harris Creek, but I am in here, looking out at Harris Creek. I have spent a great deal of time watching Harris Creek over the years that I have lived on her banks. In my experience, Harris Creek has become a part of me, Have I become a part of the experience of Harris Creek?

Before we arrive at this withered abstraction of a world, there is only "two cannibals in mutual manducation." There are no "objects" of desire, only desire. In this world one cannot eat without simultaneously being eaten. There is no food here, no "food for thought". There is only mutal eating. To abstract, with surgical precision a separate "subect" and "object" from this intra-uterine hermaphrodite is the object of waking consciousness. The operation is carried out by means of motherhood and brotherhood ; there is birth and re-birth.

The operation inserts an empty space, a space of time between the cannibal/lovers.

It is snowing this morning on Harris Creek, very conducive to solitary pursuits like reading and writing. A library becomes a more sacred place on a snowy day. What knowledge is it that we are searching for in these booklined rooms, seated at our desks, gazing through glass at the falling snow?

I have never understood how fantasy evolved from reality, or, the theater from the factory. How does drama arise in the midst of metaphysics? Mother and Father are not simply parents and the child is not simply an offspring. How do these fantastic characters present themselves in a purely conceptual universe? There is no rational reason why two naked apes would cover their genitals.

Perhaps the factory is an abstraction and theater is the reality. My experience has been fantastic from the beginning as has the "human experience" as recorded in cultural artifacts. What is the origin and telos of the human drama?

In abstract terms, death is decomposition, or, disintegration; the consequence of the cessation of incorporation. The genital body, the body composed of nuclear cells is subject to decomposition. Biology and psychology are analogical in relation to each other; the disintegration of the ego body is analagous to the disintegration of the material body.

Integration is to disintegration as energy is to entropy. Energy is an abstraction from the desire for disequilibrium and entropy is an abstraction from the desire for equilibrium. A polarized body is a body in disequilibrium. There is, O Monks, an unpolarized body, a body in equilibrium. At equilibrium the positive and negative poles cease to exist, and the body is no longer divided into genders and generations. Zero is the source of all numbers. Equilibrium is the source of disequilibrium. Birth is the unfolding of a disequilibrious body from the body of equilibrium; death is the refolding.

Well anyway, that's how it looks to me, sitting here, looking out on Harris Creek.

The project that represents itself each morning with the rising of the sun over Harris Creek is the overcoming of ambivalence; the accentuation of the positive and the repression of the negative. The dream is ambivalence and waking thought overcomes it. My task each morning is to recreate myself from the fabric of the dream.

The dream body is the intra-uterine body, the conceptual body before it is perceivable. The dream body is that "genuine two-in-one" which preceeds the organization of the body into parts, or, the process of repression. There is no organization absent repression; to organize myself each morning is to repress the dream; I am the product of that process. The ego-body is analagous to the organic body, to that "whole that is greater than the sum of its parts." The abstract process named "synergetics" or "Symbiosis" is experienced as repression.

Time/space is implicate within the dream body; temporal order and depth perception are explicated upon awakening. Repression is implied in ambivalence. And so my experience is one of this cycle, between dreaming and thinking. What is death?