Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Myexperience is limited. With the exception of one LSD trip, myexperience has cycled between a more or less normal or common waking experience and the dream. The LSD trip has left an impression upon me. Not the details of the experience, but the fact that for some period of time, that seemed to me interminable, the reality principle was slipping and sliding all over the place. The experience is the world, all else is abstraction.

Every human experience bespeaks a corresponding world, and none of them is totally real. Reality is law and order, a successful, ongoing repression of the possibilities of experience. It insists on a fixed, or, eternal set of rules. To say that the repression is successful, is to say that its form continues to perpetuate itself in the face of the continuous possiblities of chaos.

As human experience, reality is a matter of consensus. Here the law is not abstract; corpus delicti. A system of rewards and punishments performed upon the embodiedself enforces a stable reality; it is pleasure and pain, or, the carrot and the stick. The collective body, the group, or tribe, perform the enforcements and sufferings of the law. Both police and criminal are enforcing the law. And so it is with the profession of healing.

Despite all the effort to enforce the law, it continues in human experience to slip and slide, like every night when I lay myself down to dream, or, if I were to drop a little acid, or suddenly find myself in the land of schizophenia. What holds us, protects us, simultaneously confines us within a self-perpetuating identity. Somewhere in Anti-Oedipus, Deleuze and Guattari write, "we are so sick of ourselves." Could it be that I will grow sick of myself and die?

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