Somewhere in Synergetics Buckminster Fuller writes, " humans are born absolutely ignorant." But ignorance is still experience. The new born body of experience remembers a timeless space within which there was no need to know; memory precedes knowledge. We can only know this space in its absence. The surgery has always already been performed.

What was that experience like, that separation from mybody? What was it like to be pushed through the birth canal, tightly confined yet being expelled? What was the experience of emerging from the dark warmth of water, through a tunnel and then bursting above the surface of the water and out into the light gasping for air? To play the game, to be in the play, I must forget the experience of its beginning.

Birth is a traumatic experience, an experience that we have covered in a shroud of fantasy. The fantasy is the attempt to heal the wound, to end the anxiety. The attempt is to re-create the situation as it was before birth but in reality. But the object never heals the wound; the anxiety remains. The reality principle demands the separation of the "genuine two-in-one." The reality principle demands anxiety. I live with it.